This is a repost from last month’s newsletter. Tomorrow I’m putting up a post about the opening reception at the Visions Art Museum.
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.
Every once in a while I get this horrible feeling. The one that says… “someone’s going to find out that I don’t belong here, that I’m really not good enough for this”. According to psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, “it’s a feeling of phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable, or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” Highly accomplished people such as Maya Angelou and Seth Godin have voiced these insecurities in spite of their obvious talent. I guess I’m in great company.
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
It’s healthy to be humble. Nobody likes a narcissist. But imposter syndrome can lead to paralyzing fear.
How do you overcome this fear?
Recognize it and realize that pretty much everyone has felt this way at some point.
Remember all the things you DID do to get to where you are. You have been doing the work, right? You said yes or no as needed. You are risking, striving, trying.
Focus on doing your best. It won’t be perfect and you will never know or do or be everything. Never. But you can do your best. And you should.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Envy is unhealthy and most of the time, uninformed. You have no idea of what it took for that person to get where they are. Everyone has their own private trials and struggles and failures. It is what makes us who we are.
Fake it until you make it! Kyle Eschenroeder said, “Sometimes faking it doesn’t make you a fraud. If you smile your body will be more generous with happy chemicals and actually make you happier. Neuroplasticity means that you can shape your brain by pretending.”
Imposter syndrome can be a friend if you are willing to learn from it. Sit down and welcome it in. Fake it until you make it. Just keep doing the work!
I truly believe in a philosophy of abundance. There is enough goodness, love, recognition, and beauty for everyone. All I need to do is think of one of my very favorite people. When someone she knows accomplishes something she is so exuberantly happy for them – not a single touch of jealousy. I want to be like her. A rising tide lifts all ships, right?
Think about the following quote.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Have you ever felt Imposter Syndrome?
Send me a note and tell me about it!